Should You Quit Your Goal Already?
Hopeful Optimism or Straight-up Delusion?
When should you quit? How do you know if it's still worth fighting for? Our goals can either strengthen and catapult us into success, or it could be the one thing that's keeping us bogged down. How can we tell the difference? Joyce and Aaron answer all these questions on this episode of Shot of Sanity.
Failing to Reach Your Goals
Both of them had these big goals that they needed to give up but eventually, they learned how to pivot these unachieved dreams and make things workable for them.
“If it’s not God’s plan for me to do something, I try to find the next best thing towards it. ”
Sometimes, admit it, we take counterintuitive steps when we’re getting out of hand on the path we made for ourselves. But really, how do we know if it’s time to let go of that dream we’ve been pursuing for the longest time and take a new one? Here are some things we need to check first:
1) Self-Assess
Assess first our capabilities. See if our goal is something that we could attain with the set of skills and talents we have. Assess also the room we’re in.
2) Hopeful Realism: Be Hopeful & Realistic
Be realistic about yourself and also be hopeful by not giving up on the particular dream just because you’re not capable or you don’t have the same opportunity with other people. Find where you are good at and hone that. (JP)
“No matter how hard you work, there will always people who are made to do that job. ”
3) Choose the field where you’ll bloom the most
If you’re not thriving in the place you’re in, learn and find where you could actually make use of what you have. Find that different channel where you can express yourself and your skills. Ask the question “What can I do with the skills that I have?” and then set the goal. (AA)
We are not created equal, granted. But though we aren’t equal in skill set, we are created equal in value. Most of the time, we get scared of pursuing something because we already know that there are people who are already doing it better but we have to believe in ourselves and to the power of individuality.
Optimism vs Misapprehension
Where do we draw the line of being stubbornly optimistic vs delusional? If we don’t have that stubbornness, we won’t strive right? So how do we balance these two?
Ask yourself first
“If I continue to pursue this goal, is it really gonna better my life? Is it worth losing things by being constantly put down just because you’re not reaching this goal?” If the answer is yes, go on right ahead. But if your soul is not being fed anymore and if your means are not being met anymore, then you shouldn’t go for it. You have to be realistic. You aren’t going to survive if you constantly put yourself in a path that’s not towards your goal. You’ll just develop resentment towards life and towards that goal that you once loved. (JP)
Compromise between what your goal is and what your fantasy is
○ Everyone can have a fantasy of what it is going to be but the goal is to have the balance of both sides of it. Stepping stones to success are not failures. Appreciate it. If you don’t, the entire journey is wasted. Failure is not falling. Failure is not getting up. If you do fail on your dream, it is okay. (AA)
○ Right now, because of the power of social media, we see a lot of achievers online and we tend to compare ourselves to those and the worst, we predicate our worth with what we see. But the thing is, we have to learn how to be grateful for the achievements we able to do instead of the things we don’t.
○ We must learn to look at at these achievers with wonder, not with anger and try to learn from them.
“Do not be ashamed of letting go of something to pursue something else.”
If you’ve been trying to get or achieve a particular goal but you can’t really have it knowing that you’ve done everything, the only thing you need to do now is accept. Life is a constant opportunity for you to grow. If you gave your all to pursue that goal and you didn’t attain it, it’s always like shoot for the moon and you’ll land on the stars. Remember, those stars are just as valuable as the moon because they brought you and made you to what you are right now. Changing your goal is truly human that you shouldn’t be ashamed of. (JP)
Pride is the biggest part of it.
The best thing to do is ask your friends and families because for sure, they have new sets of advice for you. Have an outsider also take a look at the situation as well. They might be seeing something that you don’t. We might be all delusional to some things that are happening in our own lives that we need someone from the outside that will help us assess the situation. And, if you have a goal you keep pursuing and don’t know yet when to stop, ask yourself: “Is my stubbornness driven by pride or by love?” (AA)
“It’s not easy to hear criticisms but it’s necessary. ”
Also, trust that God has a plan for your life. Don’t be so afraid of failure and quitting. Don’t be afraid of stubbornly pursuing a goal because at the end of the day, what matters is your life and what you do in it. And whatever you do with it will matter if you put your heart and your love in it, and not operate out of pride. (JP)
From Episode 21 of Adulting with Joyce Pring’s Shot of Sanity: “SHOULD YOU QUIT YOUR GOAL ALREADY?”:
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Adulting With Joyce Pring is the How-To’s of your 20’s told by a 20-something, traversing through life expectantly and with gusto!
Episode summary by Chiara
Soli Deo Gloria!