Overcoming Body Shaming & Negative Self-Talk
In a world full of people with prejudice, most people have been victims of body shaming. In this episode, Coach Lyqa and Joyce open up about their own experiences dealing with this issue, these repercussions, and how people could change this negative culture that most have grown into.
Deriding One’s Physical Appearance
Asian countries in general, especially in the Philippines, embrace femininity in a way that weight is a constant conversation people have to deal with. Many times on social media, the most conversation starter other people would always use are “Pumayat ka” or “Tumaba ka,” not knowing where the conversation is heading. Moreover, instead of talking about things that really matter rather than something that has no point, many do not understand this (negative) culture. (JP)
As a new breed of culture, people look at the standards of beauty through the faculties of change. People like to point out things to others when the topic is too uncomfortable when it is projected back to them. We tend to point what we feel is wrong about ourselves to make us feel better, to assert power. But even if that’s the case, you can never control what other people say about you. (LM)
“You can never control what other people say about you, better yet have someone to lean on or be that person to lean on in order to feel valued.”
Dealing With Body Issues
Embrace oneself. It is really hard to do, it’s a journey but it is a good start. Some people are harsh to themselves whereas they are kinder to other people than to themselves. But when you come to think of it, if it is something so rude to be spoken of to other people, why give the permission to tell it to oneself? These hurtful words then get passed around, it passes down until it becomes a snowball and as a part of a culture. (LM)
Truly, it is difficult to change self-talk and the narrative that many have in their heads to be able to accept not just flaws in the body, but also see it for the beauty it withholds. So, one must look at their own body as a vessel in which they do the things they love. Another is to be always mindful of the things they say to other people, but most importantly be mindful of what they say to themselves because they trigger things that are irreversible and can change everything. If you know how to lift others up, learn how to learn yourself up. Words have power so learn and realize that identity is something you create for yourself. (JP)
“Have a bigger goal than just looking good and pleasing other people.”
Ending the Stigma
It takes one courageous person to not again pass the hurt down to other people. It takes one person to stand up and break what has been normalized until it’s too late. Another way to change the culture is to understand that people are broken in so many ways, and they are hurt in different situations in their lives that they haven’t processed because they are not aware of it. So once they do not process it, they mindlessly pass it down to another person, not knowing that it is their own insecurity. Therefore, one must be more understanding and gracious towards others. And sometimes, it may not be because they are hurt but because they do not know how to start a good conversation, so they resolve to the easiest small talk they can think of.
Empowering Oneself
Whenever one desires and it is not fulfilled, that person feels inadequate that results in his or her dealing with the repercussions. And with the presence of the comments of people who are willing to say things that can potentially hurt other people’s feelings rather than saying it in a nice way, it has been a struggle to be better in taking care of oneself and to be more comfortable in expressing themselves. (JP)
Watching people embrace themselves, it will give permission to establish one’s own identity by seeing people being so confident of their skin. And if one wants to accomplish something about themselves, they can learn about it along with understanding the fact that it is not because doing it will earn acknowledgment from others, but because they enjoy doing it. More than that, when people decide to change something about themselves, do not stop them from achieving their full potential. Most of the time these body issues spring up from our fear of what would other people say or think about us. So if you feed yourself with their comments, you will only live your life adjusting. (LM)
“Remind yourself that as long as you’re healthy, happy, and you’re doing your best, that’s okay.”
From Episode 77 of Adulting with Joyce Pring: “OVERCOMING BODY SHAMING & NEGATIVE SELF-TALK FT. COACH LYQA MARAVILLA”
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Adulting With Joyce Pring is the How-To’s of your 20’s told by a 20-something, traversing through life expectantly and with gusto!
Episode summary by Chiara
Soli Deo Gloria!