The Importance of Human Connection
Simone Heng is a professional keynote speaker, sought-after international MC and former broadcaster. Over her one and a half decade-long career in the entertainment industry, Simone’s job was to build memorable connections with audiences on stage, on air, online and one-to-one. On this episode of the podcast, we talk with the wonderful Ms. Heng about her journey in broadcasting, how she overcame the challenges that came her way, and the work she's been doing in Human Connection, and discovering how profoundly important it is in our lives especially in today's world.
She was raised Australia but went to Asia to study and work. Being in the radio for years, Simone gained everything she thinks she needed about marketing, branding, endorsements. All of these learnings and experiences led to set up her own company and become a professional speaker.
Simone Heng & The Quarter Life Crisis
The crisis started to strike her when she was about 30 years old, feeling like everyone is gathering their life together: settling down and getting married etc. And at that time, she knows that she’s far from those since she still struggles with some family and career problems.
How to find braveness to step out of comfort zone?
○ “I think it's when you get to that point where you just cannot anymore push somebody else's agenda. I think it comes from a place of like, I cannot take it anymore.” Simone started her journey with educating herself: reading books, watching documentaries and learning the market.
○ “It’s really knowing your purpose, right? It's knowing your purpose and having something that's bigger outside of yourself.” (JP)
○ We have to face that fear and discomfort that the outside world is making us through and not being afraid to talk about your past experiences that made you, knowing that you have a voice to speak out and make a better path for you.
“I cannot spend the rest of my life when I have a voice doing this. ”
Our household is also such a great factor in shaping us. We most live in an Asian household where we were told to shut up or our ideas were mocked because if not, we are being rude and disobedient. And that trauma crystallizes and stops us from having that kind of outspokenness. But Simone knew that the are some space that our voices will be valued. She then created a community where these people could be safe to find their story, their message and then learn to speak out.
The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk has a lot to do with human connection. There, it talks about how everything that you experienced as a child has a huge impact on you as an adult. So, the way that you speak the way that you carry yourself in public, all of those things are affected by your childhood. But then, because our brains are so neuro-plastic, you're actually able to change that by human connection by coaching and by learning new things. (JP)
Also, this could also affect you physically. There are parts in our body that builds up stress which we should really look at so we can release it. In a Gabor Mate book, it says that the answer to addiction is connection. A lot of people form addictions based on the feeling of unlovability and disconnectedness in their childhood. if you feel sometimes that you're feeling deep, deep disconnection, go and talk to someone because once those issues start to become processed, your life becomes brighter and happier than you could have ever imagined. (SH)
Healing and Human Connection Intertwined
What is it about healing and human connection that's so interconnected?
Really, our brains are wired for connection. We were tribes. But because of the technological advancements in our lives, we are no longer tribally based, we are being disconnected. Having depression, we perceive ourselves to be unloved and alone, our brain is flooded by stress hormones like adrenaline, cortisol, and our whole nervous system becomes inflamed. If you are not sleeping well, during this pandemic, it's because your brain is sleeping more likely and rousing to look for predators the same way it was wired, as earlier, man, we have not evolved in the same speed as these have evolved. So if you've got lack of sleep, that's what I wanted to say. It's all about how we are wired for connection. And that disconnection leads to worse sleep. (SH)
What have you learned from studying human connection that have changed you?
The most disconnected patients with other people were the ones that were the most disconnected from themselves. If you want great connection with other people, you have to develop good self-connection. Do whatever you can to get to know yourself better. Because once you know yourself, and you're fully self-possessed, it's so easy to meet people connect with them, and have that friendship because they are connecting with the real you and not an avatar of you. (SH)
How do you hold space for someone validating his/her emotional state while being present to your own?
You’ll feel it when someone has crossed your boundaries. So when you get that red flag in your gut, you know that you are needing to take back more space for yourself and relinquish a bit of attention to the validation of the other person to listen to that gut. And that's when you need to exercise some self-love and self-care. The mental health discussion is actually the beginning of the search for you. There's no conversation about mental health, anxiety, depression without a conversation about connection. (SH)
Top 5 Recommended Books by Simone Heng
From Episode 52 of Adulting with Joyce Pring: “HUMAN CONNECTION WITH SIMONE HENG”
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Adulting With Joyce Pring is the How-To’s of your 20’s told by a 20-something, traversing through life expectantly and with gusto!
Episode summary by Chiara
Soli Deo Gloria!